This March, I took a long-term substitute teaching job at the local junior high school. It was a pretty uneventful gig, telling students to complete worksheets and just manage them while they’re in my class. Uneventful that is, until March 2nd when I felt the most distracting fatigue I’d felt since I had Covid the year before. Myself and the next door teacher were standing in the hall as the students walked to their next classes, and this teacher had struck up a conversation with me as was the norm. During this conversation, however, I must’ve yawned almost ten times. I remember trying to stifle them as best as I could because I didn’t want to seem rude or uninterested. I also noticed that I was going to the bathroom in between every class—so roughly every 50 minutes. Odd, I thought, I normally go after every 2-3 classes.
I was ready for that final bell at the end of the day, so I could go home and get plenty of rest for the following day of substituting. The next day came just like the day before—lots of bathroom breaks, yawning, and that fatigued feeling. I was getting scared I should get a Covid test, but I had no other symptoms besides fatigue. Maybe I subconsciously knew what was going on, but I went to the store to grab a couple pregnancy tests TO RULE IT OUT. I got home and took my test, not really considering it could be positive.
When I saw those two lines, I couldn’t move for a few minutes. Wow, this is real, I thought. Along with the thousands of other thoughts that could race through your brain upon learning this news.
This was the start of what I called the first trimester blues. Fatigue and frequent urination was the beginning. My body was about to go through some drastic changes. And honestly? It’s no wonder why—my body was making a person, a whole brand new life, from a microscopic zygote. That’s a miraculous feat.
I want to map out the experience I have/had during each trimester to show, not only what I went through, but just how different everyone’s experience is and that it’s okay. I think the easiest, reader-friendly way is listing so here goes:
· Fatigue. And I mean extreme some days. I wanted to push myself to work out and sometimes, it was all I could do to walk for 15-30 minutes a day. I remember one particular day, it was all I could do to complete one load of laundry all day long. I commend women who have to push through every day and go to work.
· Frequent urination. I think most mamas feel me here.
· Sensitivity to smells. I couldn’t cook meat, eggs, or anything with heavy garlic without wanting to gag.
· Acne. It was HORRIBLE. Cystic, hormonal acne. The kind that makes itself obvious and hard to cover up. I was so self-conscious and felt like I’d stepped back into my teenage years.
· Low libido. Just getting real honest here. My sex drive didn’t exist for a while there. Luckily, I have a gracious and understanding husband who didn’t give me any flack about it.
· Increased appetite. This one is not so common from my understanding. Some women actually lose weight from how sick they get. Not Sara—for a while there my hunger could not be satisfied. Which sounds like an exaggeration but I promise it’s not. I had to eat something at least every two hours. I tried to make sure that what I ate was healthy since I was eating so frequently. And yes, that includes waking up in the middle of the night to eat peanut butter crackers that I had to keep on my nightstand. In total, I gained around 12-15 pounds in my first trimester. Which I was hard on myself about for a while.
· Cramping. This can be concerning for a first time mom like myself, but it was never accompanied with bleeding and never lasted too long.
· Acid reflux. Just had to keep those tums handy.
· Sore breasts. Oh my gosh, they were sore to the touch and ever-growing. I kept a bra on 99% of the time just to protect them.
· Emotional. I could get set off by something as simple as my husband having to work late. This is beyond his control, and I knew it. It’s like one half of my brain was saying, “Sara this has never upset you before and you shouldn’t be upset now,” while the other half was saying, “I don’t care, I’m upset and this is just something I have to feel.”
· Low self-esteem. I wanted to make sure I added this one, because I feel like it’s not a part of the conversation enough. I felt bad about my appearance—acne all over my face, and I felt pudgy because my clothes were getting tighter. I also felt bad for my husband because my moods were unpredictable and we hardly did anything away from the house because of how severe the fatigue was. I won’t even go into how the number on the scale affected me—pro tip: don’t check it every day.
Everyone’s pregnancy is different. I have yet to find anyone else say they also experienced increased appetite in their first trimester, but I do know there is probably someone who can relate. At the end of the day, get out of your own head. All you can do is all you can do. Nauseated? Try the medicine and rest. Hungry? Eat something you can keep down. Feeling good? Try to get a walk in that day. Acne flaring? Treat yourself to a face mask and some good makeup. Feeling pudgy? Steal one of your husband’s t-shirts, or better yet, go buy an actual maternity outfit because they make all the difference. But most certainly, don’t dwell on the bad. Your body is working hard and doing something amazing.
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