As a new mom, several people would ask me “Is there anything I can do? Is there anything you need?” These are sweet gestures, but that’s exactly what they feel like: gestures. I never take anyone up on the offer because I don’t want to seem needy or feel like I’m asking for too much. However, there are some things that would be nice to have! The days of running to the grocery store or the pharmacy on a whim are gone. Plus, when you look at how much everything costs, it can be overwhelming for a new mom who is likely not getting paid over the next eight weeks. This is where you, the ones offering to help, can give this momma some peace of mind.
Instead of asking if there’s anything the baby or the mom needs, try some more intentional alternatives:
“What brand of diapers do you prefer for your baby, and what size is the baby in now?” (I recommend either buying the baby’s current size or a size up.)
“Do you have a diaper cream preference?”
“What kind of soap and lotion are you using?”
“What brand of laundry detergent do you use?”
“I’m stopping by the coffee shop. What’s your favorite coffee?”
“What are some of your favorite snacks?”
Here’s my suggestion for you, the valued helper: put all of the mom’s answers into the notes section of your phone. This way, when you go to the store, you have what you’re looking for ready to go!
If it’s been a few weeks since you’ve checked on the baby’s needs and preferences, you may want to send a quick message saying “Hey, I wanted to make sure you are still using size one Pampers.” If you want to ensure you’re getting something she needs, you can say “I’m at the store. What are you low on: diapers, wipes, or diaper cream?” You’ll likely get a better response by providing a list instead of asking if the baby needs “anything.”
Don’t limit yourself to just mom and baby! Think about bringing household items, like toilet paper or paper towels. You can also bring paper plates and plastic utensils to keep mom and dad from doing dishes all day long. Speaking of dad, be sure to bring him a gift as well. Chances are, he’s up at night as well and is not only helping with the baby but taking care of mom, too. Bring him a snack or go bold and offer to cut the grass for him, although I think my husband liked an excuse to step outside for a little while.
Ultimately, the best way to be there for new parents is to be intentional with how you can serve them. This could mean asking very specifically what they need from the store, if they would like taco soup for supper, do you have any food allergies because I want to bring you a meal, can I cut your grass for you? Etc. You will know that what you’ve done for them has really helped and they’ll feel loved.
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